Beside Myself by Ann Morgan

Ann Morgan’s Beside Myself is an incredibly tense, creepy novel about twins sisters who swap places one day as a joke, then one refuses to swap back. There were a lot of elements to the story; including mental illness, suicide and the effect a parent’s love, or lack of, can have as we grow up. 

Helen has always been the favourite twin, always considered the more intelligent and popular. Slowly, after they swap and she becomes ‘Ellie’ we see her spiral downhill as she slowly loses her identity whilst the new ‘Helen’ blossoms. Her story is told in alternating chapters, starting in first person and ending in second as her mental health deteriorates. The rest of the story shows current day ‘Ellie’, or Smudge’ as she now considers herself, coming to terms with what happened to her after ‘Helen’ is involved in a car crash and now comatose.

There are a lot of elements to the story, and without the differentiation between third and first/second person I don’t think it would have worked as well as it did (although, in hindsight, I think my Netgalley copy was a bit buggy and actually the completed novel is obviously set out a lot better!). It didn’t feel quite as satisfying as I’d hoped when all those elements came together, but I feel like that was a deliberate chocolate and that a completely wrapped up ending would have been disingenuous to the tone of the rest of the novel.

The underlying issue of mental health is probably my favourite part; there’s the insinuation that mental illness runs in Smudge’s family and the shame of that causes her mother to act the way she does. I liked the way that a big deal wasn’t made of the voices in Smudge’s head, nor was her mental health used as an excuse for her bad behaviour. It was a symptom of her downward spiral, not a glorified reason for violence.

Overall I found Beside Myself to be a very gripping read, with complex issues. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ambitious and well written with a flawed main character I was really rooting for.

I received a free copy of Beside Myself from Netgalley.

Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira


“But no one else can save you, not really. Not from yourself,” he said. “You fall asleep in the foothills, and the wolf comes down from the mountains. And you hope someone will wake you up. Or chase it off. Or shoot it dead. But when you realize that the wolf is inside you, that’s when you know. You can’t run from it. And no one who loves you can kill the wolf, because it’s part of you. They see your face on it. And they won’t fire the shot.”

This book broke my heart into a million pieces and then slowly put them all back together again. It was in no way the book I imagined it would be, and I’d argue it’s one of the best YA books I’ve read in terms of how it deals with grief, identity, abuse and teen relationships. I don’t think I’ve read anything that so perfectly captures all of those things since Laurie Halse Anderson’s Speak.

One of the things I found most poignant about the book, in which Laurel writes letters to dead celebrities after being set an assignment by a teacher who knew her dead sister, is the fact that she so obviously is not ready to deal with her sister’s death. She writes to them to understand life, and the impact lives have, in order to process the impact May’s death has had on her. I cried a little when Laurel is finally able to address a letter to her sister.

The other characters are also perfectly written, with their own separate back stories and troubles so there wasn’t one character I wasn’t interested in hearing about. Like I said before, Love Letters to the Dead was a much different book to what I was expecting, and the discussion of sexuality, abuse, teenage drinking, domestic abuse and drugs was important and well written.

My only criticism is that the explanation of each dead person’s life, while arguably necessary for the reader, didn’t quite ring true in the context of the letters being addressed to them. It jarred slightly, but in no way detracted from how much I enjoyed the book.

On the Shores of Darkness, There is Light by Cordelia Strube

If I had to sum up how I feel after reading this book in two words it would be: heartbroken and betrayed. That’s not a criticism, I think if a book makes you feel anything it’s doing its job right, and not every books can make you feel good things. 

I felt very much that this was a book in two halves. We have the build up of hope, only for it to be dashed. Then the second story begins and there’s hopelessness, only for it to come good in the end. It made me very sad, but at the same time there was a great sense that things would be getting better for these characters.

I loved Harriet, and later Heike, as little girls who were distinct, believable and developed characters. Which I think is difficult to come by in child characters. I also loved the way Irwin developed.

On the Shores of Darkness, There is Light isn’t as bleak as I’ve made it sound. In some parts it’s funny, other parts poetic, others tragic. All of it very realistic.

Book and a Brew February Box!

This month’s box threw me a bit of a curveball. Here I was, expecting something sugary sweet and romantic with a pink hued tea. I was half right, for the wrong reasons.

London, early 1950s. Marcia Beasley of St John’s Wood is discovered dead in her home, naked and covered with a coal scuttle. Detective Sergeant Greenleaf is tasked with solving the crime and bringing meaning to her gruesome death. It is a discomfiting matter, not only for the victim’s niece Rosy Gilchrist – eager to distance herself from her aunt’s fate and raffish reputation – but to all members of the deceased’s social circle. The floral Felix and acidic Cedric, awful Vera, self-enamoured artist Clovis Thistlehyde, the amiably inane Fawcett family – all, it seems, have secrets to hide and grudges to bear. 

Reluctantly Rosy is drawn into a mesh of intrigue, encountering those she would prefer to avoid and uncovering facts she would rather not know. Dragged from her ordered world, she is thrust into one of mad uncertainty. Who, for example, is the limping midnight visitor? Is the bibulous priest as ingenious as he seems? And will Mrs Burkiss ever yield her keys to the broom cupboard? A host of colourful and comic characters leap from the pages in their hurry to identify the murderer, unravel the mystery of Marcia’s life, and discover the importance of all that coal.

Described as an off best and witty whodunnit with an equally quirky tea, this is a lovely antidote to the overpowering hearts and flowers in the shops. Rhubarb is one of my favourite flavours, and for some reason the description of A Little Murder reminds me of another favourite, What A Carve Up! I’m excited to sip and read!

Book Club Love


I took a biggish step today and started my own bookclub! It came about after myself, @NinjaBookSwap and @BlabberingBooks were talking on Twitter about setting up one in Broadstairs. When I put a call out to see who was interested, a lot of my friends said they couldn’t travel that far but would love to have one nearby. And now here I am!

I’ve never run a club of any sort before, so this is an exciting challenge for me! Usually I’m fairly anxious about things I arrange falling flat, despite not having any real qualms about meeting new people, or spending time with people. 

I wanted, presumably rather unoriginally, to read and share books that are diverse and thought provoking, without dictating each month. The twist being that I love baking and so am planning on baking cake and providing tea that fits in with the theme of each months book choice. I don’t get enough excuses to bake, so I’m using this! I also have a book of literary inspired cocktails which I’m sure I’ll make use of!

I picked The Peculiar Life of A Lonely Postman as our first book. I haven’t read it, but it caught my eye when I was scouring amazon for inspiration!

Faceless by Alyssa Sheinmel


Alyssa Sheinmel’s Faceless had me hooked from the very beginning. The story starts when Maisie, optimistic and loved up after being asked to prom by her boyfriend, goes out for an early morning run in a storm. When lightening strikes an electricity pylon near her home she is horrifically injured, losing most of her face and suffering burns down her left side. She survives, and is ‘lucky’ enough to be offered a face transplant to give her a better chance of a normal life.

The novel deals, essentially, with the themes of identity and grief. Maisie struggles to place herself in this new life in which she cannot run, is changed by her medication but also doesn’t look like herself anymore. She mourns her old self, pushes people away and then finds her way back.

I really enjoyed the fact that, after the initial drama and trauma, the rest of the story is fairly understated. We follow Maisie as she goes through all these new emotions and I think the way her ‘recovery’ is written is very believable. There’s just the right amount of interaction with her friends and family, internal struggle and optimism without any of it being overpowering. Thoroughly recommended.

Blog Tour: Texas On My Mind by Dolores Fossen

Air force captain Riley McCord has come home on medical leave to find one heck of a welcome reception. Every unattached woman in Spring Hill, Texas, wants to nurse him back to health. That includes his childhood friend Claire Davidson—the only person who understands how damaged he really feels. In high school, she chose his best friend over him. According to Riley’s rules, that should make her off-limits forever. But when Claire suggests a no-strings fling, he can’t refuse.

Claire always wanted Riley—but she also craved the safety and stability he couldn’t offer. So she chose another path, only to end up crazier about him than ever. She’s even convinced herself that this time she won’t be devastated when he leaves. Yet once Riley realizes the depth of Claire’s feelings—and his own—he’ll have to make the ultimate choice: return to the job he loves or stay home for the woman who’s always lived in his heart.

I was really looking forward to taking part in this blog tour and reading Texas On My Mind. There’s something vaguely exotic to me, as a Brit, about cowboys and the Wild West and this more modern take took my fancy. It wasn’t like anything I’d read before, which meant I could enjoy it on its own merits rather than comparing it to other novels.

And I did really enjoy it. I liked the fact that, whilst it was a romance, it wasn’t without plot and the inclusion of a love triangle and the issue of PTSD meant it kept my interest. The characters were well rounded, comic is some cases, and believably flawed. It was probably a little bit more… saucy… than I usually read, but still a fun novel!

Three Wishes by Liane Moriarty

I think that Three Wishes marks the last of Liane Moriarty‘s books I had left to read. I have therefore been thrown into abject sorrow at the knowledge that I am facing a seemingly endless stretch until I can read another new book by her.

In any case, Three Wishes lacked some of the… Punch… Of some of her other books but that kind of meant I could enjoy it in it’s own right. Published originally in 2003 and rerelease this year in the UK, the story revolves around triplet sisters on the approach to their thirty third birthday. As usual, Liane Moriarty doesn’t just tell a straight story beginning to end. We get a glimpse into an argument on their birthday dinner through the eyes of others at the restaurant, and each chapter is separated by a strangers view of the girls as they grow up. 

The idea of having triplet main characters worked really well because we got three distinct personalities and problems, with the added layer of their different reactions to a shared history.

There’s the usual mix of humour and tragedy that I’ve come to love in Liane Moriarty’s books. In Three Wishes she deals with affairs, miscarriages, the aftermath of emotional abuse, panic attacks, ex wives, new relationships and family ties. All nearly wrapped in a complex, well thought out story. I was particularly fond of Gemma’s storyline, seeing some parallels between her history with Marcus and a past relationship of mine and the ways in which we deal with such things.

I didn’t feel like there was as big a reveal or shock as some of her other books, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable and I liked the way the story unfolded without dramatics.

My First Illumicrate Box!

I was surprised by an email a few days ago announcing that my Illumicrate Box was on it’s way. I have no recollection of having actually ordered one, but I’m glad I did! I love the surprise of a subscription box though, not knowing what book I’m going to get. Illumicrate is slightly different to my usual Book and A Brew subscription in that it’s only once every three months and the books involved are YA.

This month’s book is Truthwitch by Susan Dennard, a fantasy I’ve seen doing the rounds on Tumblr. I’m not usually a fantasy kind of person but I’ve decided to branch out and read different genres this year so this can help me along the way!

There were so many goodies in the box! My favourites were:

A Darker Scent of Magic Candle by Simple Candle Company. It smells like sherbet and a scented candle is always a hit with me!

I also loved these adorable bookmarks and pencil case. The pencil case design is an exclusive to Illumicrate and designed by Elena Illustration and these magnetic bookmarks by BeeDoo are the cutest!
I’ve seen these kinds of pencils online and I’ve been meaning to get some for ages so it was a nice surprise to receive some this month! 

There was also a load of other goodies like a tote bag, some badges, bookmarks, a signed bookplate from Susan Dennard and a lemonade recipe but ode were definitely my favourite!